Hands in Pockets: What to Do When It’s Not an Option

What to do with your hands when they don’t belong in your pant pockets and folded arms are equally inappropriate, whether out of respect or to create a good impression.

Source: The Neat and Tidy Man

Like most men I know and observe, my default standing position is with my hands in my pockets or my arms folded. It’s comfortable and part of normal masculine behavior.

In fact, most of us practiced it as boys when we donned our father’s old clothes in games of dress-up. We recognized it as the posture of a grown man.

But it’s not always appropriate. And with nothing better to do with your hands, you suddenly become aware of them, which is when the awkwardness begins.

When Are Hands in Pockets Inappropriate

There’s nothing inherently wrong with putting your hands in your pockets. It’s a typical male resting position, indicating that you’re relaxed and comfortable. Most of us use it subconsciously while waiting, conversing, or walking. It doesn’t signal anything significant, and nobody gives it a second thought.

It only becomes inappropriate during formal, solemn, ceremonial, or commemorative occasions, like religious services, court hearings, or job interviews. Most of us know this instinctively.

But what about everyday situations?

You may find yourself avoiding the hands-in-pockets stance when speaking to somebody of higher status, authority, or seniority. It’s an instinct left over from older social codes and the military, where a relaxed attitude was deemed improper when interacting with authority.

In military branches, the ban on hands in any pockets while in uniform relates to maintaining readiness, proper bearing, and safety—whether pants or coat.

In civilian workplaces, it’s more about appearing present and attentive.

What to Do When Hands-in-Pockets Is Not Allowed

For more years than I care to admit, I’ve worked front-of-house in hospitality as well as in corporate settings. In one, I was constantly dealing with guests; in the other, I (still) work closely with senior management.

In roles like these, there may be moments of non-work-related banter and a more laid-back stance. But it soon changes when the boss walks in or a guest arrives. And for the same unspoken reason, you instinctively never put your hands in your pockets in their presence.

So what do you do instead without looking like a plank of wood?

1. Hands Behind Your Back

This posture has the odd dual character of deference and authority. It’s the default stance of the butler, the footman, the bygone British schoolmaster, and the military officer inspecting troops. These are figures who combine formality with a certain contained presence.

That’s why many modern men, myself included, feel an instinctive resistance to it; it can feel rather old-fashioned and out of character.

Yet it still works in the right context, perhaps at a funeral, a memorial service, or any setting where stillness and unobtrusiveness are called for. Hands behind the back prevent fidgeting while creating an open, unobtrusive silhouette that signals presence and attentiveness.

Use it when you want to appear composed without occupying space—but only if it feels natural to you.

2. Clasped Hands

This refers to a relaxed hand clasp resting at the navel. I loosely clasp the back of my left hand with my right thumb.

It’s a neutral, masculine stance, suitable for interaction with groups, either in a discussion or during a talk.

The interlocking-finger version also works but can feel more rigid.

3. Hands Neatly in Front, Below the Waist

Clasp your hands lightly below the waist in any situation where you need to appear attentive over extended periods.

This was my go-to when I waited tables back in the day.

It’s a job that literally involves a lot of waiting—for diners to arrive, to decide on a beverage, to peruse the menu, to eat. This is especially true of large functions where all guests eat simultaneously while you watch for wine glasses that need refilling.

A formal yet relaxed posture, it’s suitable for most situations, and more comfortable for the modern man than keeping his hands behind his back.

4. Hold an Object

This is mainly for presentations and seminars. But whether you put your hands in your pockets depends on who is present. If your CEO is in the room, you’ll probably avoid it.

Let’s suppose this is the case. Then the simplest way to occupy the hands is to give them a job.

Holding a pen, a pointer, or a clicker is practical and avoids not only the dilemma of idle hands; a prop can make you feel more confident. Pick up a pen and try it right now. Why do you think singers hold a microphone? They could just as easily leave it on the stand.

5. One Hand in Your Pocket

Relaxed but still elegant, this works well in less formal situations without coming across as nonchalant.

It’s perfectly acceptable for a presentation where you might hold a clicker in the other hand. Or at an after-work party if you want to feel more laid-back—your free hand is for your drink.

For me, it’s subconscious. I’ll take my hand out of the pocket to gesticulate, then put it back when I’m finished. I’ll also swap hands now and again.

Source: Lukasz Dunikowski CC BY 2.0 via Flickr

Walking With Your Hands in Your Pockets

Do you keep your hands in your pockets when walking, whether your trousers, coat, or jacket? Then you’ve probably noticed that when this isn’t possible, such as walking along the beach in trunks with no pockets at all, you suddenly become conscious of your hands and how you swing your arms.

The result is hesitancy and a break in rhythm.

As a reset, twist your arms inward so the backs of your hands face forward. It restores the natural swing almost immediately, and as a desirable side effect your arms appear slightly thicker from the front.

---

Stop treating hands‑in‑pockets or folded arms as your default. They may be comfortable, but they’re not always appropriate. Try alternatives to broaden your range and give you the freedom to match your posture to the occasion without awkwardness.

© 2026 J. Richardson