Grow a mustache without looking like a creep or enduring ridicule. Learn how to bypass the awkward stage and own your look.
People tend to accept a full beard, goatee, or balbo more readily than a stand-alone mustache. That’s why you may be experiencing some negative criticism or teasing if you’ve just started to grow one. Especially if it’s still in its infancy, also known as the “awkward stage.”
Appearing flat and patchy, this is the phase when many men think it makes them look like a “creep.” So, instead of allowing it to take shape, they end up shaving it off.
If you want to surpass this stage, my best advice is to ignore disparaging remarks, let it grow, and ultimately own it. But that’s easier said than done, particularly for less resilient men.
Your Face Is Not a Shared Asset
Being nagged to “shave that thing off” or told that “it doesn’t suit you” isn’t uncommon.
“Are you trying to grow a mustache?” is another favorite. Trying. Is that even worthy of a response?
The perpetrators of such absurd and derisive commentary are usually colleagues, friends, and family members. People with whom you should remain on good terms. You can’t risk a falling-out for the sake of a mustache.
But that’s the dilemma: your face is not a shared asset.
On the suggestion of his partner, one man I spoke to grew a chevron while on vacation. It turned out better than he’d hoped—comparable to Tom Selleck’s iconic specimen in Magnum PI. Pulling it off equally well, he was made for it. But his office colleagues were of a different opinion.
He said that going back to work was hell. It wasn’t overt hostility, but side-eyes, teasing disguised as banter, and “advice.” An unrelenting pressure to return to his former self.
Feeling foolish, he shaved it off, forfeiting personal autonomy for his co-workers’ preferences and a quiet life.
But remember: you are not the problem. A mustache accentuates masculinity and authority, and some people have an issue with that.
In fact, the mustache has symbolized maturity and gravitas throughout history—most notably during the Victorian era, which continues to shape perceptions.
Nevertheless, I don’t think many men today believe a mustache entitles them to throw their weight around. But it can disguise a thin lip, balance a strong jawline, or detract attention from asymmetries.
And most importantly, it’s fun. Why are actors so eager to sprout one “if the role calls for it?”
In this post, I’ll show you how to grow a mustache fearlessly and make others accept it.
How I Grew My Mustache
Actively willing my beard to grow, I began shaving long before I needed to. I wanted to look like my father and older brother, who both donned luxuriant upper lip hair.
The five o’clock shadow finally appeared when I was 15, allowing me to fulfill my ambition. I became the envy of my peers.
Coupled with the suit my father lent me for my first job interview, I could pass for a 30-year-old. I was no longer a child playing dress-up; this was for real. The game was no longer confined to my bedroom—I was out there as the grown man I’d longed to be.
Some family friends and relatives chuckled—they’d seen me grow up. But this was a rite of passage, and the thrill far outweighed any minor embarrassments.
My upper lip hair is now as much a part of my face as my nose. Nobody questions it.
In fact, I’d probably cause quite a stir if ever I shaved it off.
The trick is to normalize your mustache before anyone realizes you’ve grown it. In other words, let it settle into perception before it’s scrutinized. And to negotiate the awkward stage without discomfort.
Let’s explore the possibilities. All you need is a beard trimmer.
Start With a Full Beard
Even at its stubbly stage, a full beard appears balanced and complete. There’s no awkwardness.
And because full beards have dominated grooming trends for the past decade, it’s more widely accepted than the mustache, making it less prone to ridicule.
But nothing is easy. Arriving at the office with a face full of stubble will provoke questions. “Run out of razor blades?” is the usual, which translates to “get a shave.”
Just smile and carry on.
For a tidy appearance, keep the tops of your cheeks and your neck clean. The neatest beard line is just above the Adam’s apple.
After a couple of weeks, you may receive compliments. Most agree that every man should grow a full beard at least once in his life.
When your beard has gained substance, you have three possibilities:
- Keep it as it is if you like it.
- Shave all but the upper lip. This means an overnight transition from bearded to mustachioed. If the commentary is too derisive, shave it off and start again, bearing the next option in mind.
- Trim your full beard to a beardstache, then gradually turn it into a stand-alone.
The Beardstache
This hybrid style allows the mustache to mature without the full brunt of scrutiny.
Starting Out Clean-Shaven
It’s as simple as growing a full beard, except you keep the neck, cheeks, and chin at the stubbly stage while allowing the upper lip to take shape.
The secret is to adjust whisker lengths, stretching your comfort zone with each trim.
Once your mustache reaches full prominence, shave off the stubble. By then, most people will already regard you as a mustachioed man and won’t even mention it.
Starting Out with a Full Beard
This is essentially the reverse.
Having grown a full beard, begin trimming the neck, cheeks, and chin, leaving the mustache untouched.
To ease the transition, trim only fractionally shorter each week, extending the process over months if necessary.
Again, by the time you’re ready to shave the stubble, you’ll have been a mustachioed man for quite a while for most people.
The Bilbo
Some men have sparse cheek growth, making it impossible to grow a decent beard.
In this case, start with a bilbo, which is a mustache with a disconnected chin patch. Due to a more balanced look, it appears neat through each growth stage, avoiding awkwardness.
Once it’s grown out, gradually trim and shrink the chin patch. Eventually, it should be no more than an outline on the lower part of your chin. Nobody will notice when you shave it off.
The Goatee
I’m referring here to a full goatee, also known as the “circle beard,” in which, unlike the bilbo, the mustache and chin are connected.
This I’d recommend if you’re aiming for a horseshoe mustache like Merv Hughes or the late Hulk Hogan.
Because it adds vertical emphasis, it can create an illusion of length on wider faces.
The horseshoe is actually a chevron with ends extending to the chin, which are referred to as pipes.
Simply grow out your goatee, then gradually reduce the chin area, leaving the pipes intact.
If you find the look too brutal, shorten them until the proportions feel right.
A mustache can enhance masculinity and maturity, making you seem sharper, smarter, or tougher as no other facial hair style can. Most of us want it, but getting there is a hard journey for some. If that’s you, you’re now armed with a few well-tested strategies. The rest is a question of patience and timing.
For more on growing and maintaining a mustache, check out these articles:
Victorian Mustache Secrets: Why Yours Doesn’t Look Like Theirs
© 2025 J. Richardson
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